Thursday 19 September 2013

Auntie of 2

I made a promise that my next blog would be more positive and more happy. So as promised this blog will be happier.

Let me start with the most amazing news that I am going to be an auntie again ! It's funny isn't it how the news of someone having a baby brings so much joy and happiness to everyone around them. The news of my sister being pregnant makes me so happy it puts the biggest smile ever on my face. I still can't believe Oliver is going to be a big brother, he will be the best big brother I know it. A baby just brings so much happiness especially when life is so hard for us at the moment. The news has brought that extra strength in me to keep fighting hard and never stop. I need to be the best auntie I can for Oliver and now this new bundle of joy.

I only have one concern though, how do you have enough love ? I mean I can't even begin to explain or put down in words how much I love Oliver so how am I too love another human being the same ? Equally ? I can only try.

Unfortunately I haven't had the best week health wise and I know I said I was going to keep this post happy which I have partly. I have really struggled mainly with sickness and breathing, it's a constant battle. However my doc upped my MST (long acting morphine) dose and finally it seems something is working that and the change in IVs. I think it's ivs making me feel so sick but I guess you can't have it all. Also the new MST dose has made me quite drowsy and the last few days seemed to have rolled into each other, hopefully I get used to it soon and get back to feeling like myself again.

I have been struggling to get to sleep at night, finally nodding off around 2am each night it's not good for me I need all the sleep I can get so I can put in extra energy into breathing. It's at night when I feel the best and think the most. I like to watch DVDs and surf the Internet. I try to go to sleep but it just doesn't happen maybe I need someone to knock me out with a hammer that might help.

I managed to get out on pass last weekend for my cousins christening I loved it to get out and see family it always makes me happy. I must admit I struggled a bit but got through then me and mum went home where I just fell asleep before my dad brought me back to the hospital. I loved being at home even just for a few hours it's just amazing I never want to leave.

We have decided to throw a Halloween party where it will be £5 a ticket to get in and all the money raised will go straight to the CF Trust. There will be raffles too and other things going on to raise money. Things like this get me all excited I just love having things too look forward to and have things planned it takes my mind off transplant even just for 5 minutes as it seems to be all I think about these days. Having this to look forward too and to help plan will keep me busy enough.

So that's really all I have to report this time it's all exciting with the new baby and fundraising stuff going on it's always a busy time in my family but that's just the way I like it !

1 comment:

  1. Love is like an elastic band - it can stretch and stretch to accomodate new people to love :) So happy for you xx

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